On rejection and resilience

There’s not a lot of feedback in the novel-writing trenches. Maybe that’s why today’s news – that my latest arts grant application was rejected – is hurting so much.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m used to rejection. It’s part of the process. Every story I’ve had published was first rejected from multiple places. According to Duotrope, I have a 13% acceptance ratio; that means my work is rejected eighty-seven percent of the time. (And that’s pretty good! Duotrope congratulates me on that stat every time I log on.)

Of course it stings every time a rejection lands in my in-box, but it doesn’t feel like a massive tragedy. I spend a few weeks working on a short story, then I send it out into the world; if it comes back to me, I send it out again. And again. If it comes back enough times, I do some revisions, then out it goes again. I don’t take those rejections personally.

Today is different. Today it’s my novel that’s been rejected. This big, sprawling, multi-year project that occupies most of my writing time, that’s closest to my heart: rejected. I sent in a detailed project description, a 25-page excerpt from my draft-in-progress, my writing CV, a breakdown of how this project will help me progress as an artist – and my application was turned down.

That’s painful.

Look, I’m not saying I’m giving up. I’m still working on the book! (Stay tuned for an upcoming blog post on my current writing process.) In a couple of days, I’ll get in touch with the granting agency so they can give me feedback on how to improve my next grant application. Besides, I’ve heard that only 20% of arts grant applications are successful, and I know that there are tons of factors that decide which ones are funded.

So much of this writing life is about cultivating resilience. This rejection is getting under my skin, but it’s not going to stop me from pushing forward on this novel. I’m way too stubborn to give up now.