Author: Rebecca Morris

This week I started my online course: “How to Write a Novel: Structure & Outline.”

It’s a non-credit course offered via edX through UBC’s Creative Writing program. The instructors (pictured above) are Annabel Lyon (who wrote the wonderful books “The Golden Mean” and “The Sweet Girl”) and Nancy Lee. It’s a six-week course with video lectures, weekly assignments, discussion forums and virtual “Office Hours” given via Google Hangouts.

I signed up because my book needs more structure (and so do I!). I have rewritten the first third of the book a few times now, each time making major (necessary) changes, but it’s so easy to get muddled in the middle. I originally only had one character telling the whole story, but now my other main character is stepping forward and narrating her own action, so my novel has become even more complicated.

Apparently, this course will help me create a scene-by-scene outline of the ENTIRE book I’m writing, then I can follow that roadmap to “fill in” the chapters. Sounds great, right?

This week, the course focussed on character motivation (how well do I really know my main characters? Less well than I thought), plus recognizing “antagonists” (inner and outer obstacles) and doing some “world building” (i.e. setting, which is pretty established for me). This week’s assignment was to put myself in my character’s shoes and complete a “self-questionnaire” to consider/create more depth and backstory. Some of the questions were straight-forward, like “How old are you?” and “What’s your favourite item of clothing?” Others took some real reflection, such as “Who is your least reliable friend?” and “Name three personal heroes/role models.”

My only concern with this course is that I’m not actually “writing”! It feels strange to put so much time and energy into planning, since I usually plan a bit, write a bit, plan a bit, write a bit. While I am committing to this course and this new process, I find myself missing the energy of drafting a new scene and having my characters come alive on the page. I may have to “cheat” on my novel and spend some time with one of my unfinished short stories in order to get that literary thrill of creation, since I don’t think I can go without for the next six weeks!

This week went way too fast.

I thought this sabbatical year would involve long, uninterrupted days of concentrated writing time, interspersed with cups of tea, long walks and occasional errands. Maybe I’ll get there, but this particular week was not like that. This week, I spent most of my time running around with my kids or helping out at their school with the committees I’ve joined (and there is a LOT of volunteer work required at the beginning of the school year).

I got some great writing work done on a couple of days, but not everyday. I did some research and added to a (very important) scene where my two main characters meet up after ten years apart. I’m happy about what I accomplished, but I don’t feel I accomplished enough.

What is “enough”? Ah, that’s complicated. Sometimes it’s a daily or weekly word count. Sometimes it’s finishing a scene. Sometimes it’s putting a certain number of hours into writing. On rare, wonderful days, I can step away from my desk and pat myself on the back for accomplishing “enough.”

When I don’t get “enough” done, though, my instinct is to beat myself up. I feel guilty and I start berating myself and feeling anxious and down and hypochondriacal, wondering if I’m making a huge mistake by even attempting to write this book.

Not helpful!

I’m trying to change that. I’m striving to stay positive and be nicer to myself when things don’t go the way I planned. I wrote 1000 words this week; maybe next week it’ll be 2000. Or 3000. Or more. Or maybe life will interfere again, and I have to be ok with that.

This week my kids went back to school and I didn’t. My year of staying home and writing has begun!

On Sunday, I took part in a QWF writing workshop called “Finding the fun in writing,” led by the fabulous Montreal author Monique Polak. Monique introduced us to a number of writing exercises designed to kick-start our creativity and tap into the more playful, intuitive sides of our writing. I’m sure I’ll use most of these exercises again when I get bogged down in my work, but the idea that has already transformed my daily writing sessions is called “morning pages.”

Basically, morning pages involve sitting down at the beginning of the day and scrawling out three notebook pages of stream-of-consciousness; anything that crosses your mind goes onto the page. Rereading my pages, I find myself listing mundane domestic tasks as much as exploring my ideas for writing projects. It’s a brilliant exercise for skimming all the random thoughts off the surface of my mind so I can dive right into my creative work with clarity and focus. Amazing, right? I’ve been doing morning pages all week and I’m completely hooked.

My main writing goal this year is to finish the novel that’s been in progress for (way too many) years. I am about 30 000 words into my latest draft but I hadn’t opened this file since June, when we moved into a new house and life got extra crazy. This meant that my first task this week was to reread my work to get myself back into that fictional world. After that, I made a list of some scenes that seem to be missing, then I worked a bit on a document to clarify the backstory and motivations of one of my main characters.

Of course, it was nerve-wracking to re-open that document; what if I’d reread my work and it was terrible?! Luckily I didn’t hate it (or at least, not all of it), and I was able to slip back into the project with minimal stress. Overall, I’d say I’m off to a good start.

This year I’m working from home. I get to focus my energy on writing fiction, finishing this novel that’s been in progress for (many) years and writing short stories that I can submit for publication to various Canadian Literary journals.

Submission; that’s the goal. Get the work done, polish it and submit it.

Except that I can’t. Not yet.

There are other parts of my life that require my time and energy. My children, for example. My 12-year-old daughter and my 9-year-old twin boys, delightful human beings who demand a certain amount of care and maintenance. Then there’s the fact that we moved at the end of June. Between the house and my kids and my volunteer commitments at their school and all the daily and weekly tasks it takes to coordinate our lives, I’m a busy woman.

Most years, the end of August has also meant heading back to work. I’ve taught French, English and Resource (Special Ed), so I’ve had to juggle parenting and home responsibilities with school meetings, curriculum planning and classroom prep.

This August, it’s different. For a long time, I was the main family breadwinner while my husband completed his PhD and qualified to work as a psychologist here in Quebec. Now we’re in a position for him to pay the bills while I stay home and write.

I am incredibly excited and grateful to have the opportunity to dedicate myself to my writing. My dream job is to be a professional, published writer. This year, I finally get to pour myself into my writing and make real strides towards that dream, rather than squeezing in my writing sessions before school at 5:30am, between classes or on weekends while my husband takes the kids out to the park.

But! I’m not there yet. We’re in back-to-school crazy time, so I’ve got a massive to-do list of items to buy and label and organize before my kids start classes. We’ve also still got lots to accomplish around the house, including unpacking those last dozen boxes.

So what’s a writer to do? Can I shut the door on my new office, plug in my headphones and get to work? Can I unleash my creative energy and dive into my writing?

Ha, ha. Not yet.

Submission; that’s my only option. Take a deep breath, find my zen and submit to the reality of my current situation. Try to enjoy these last days of summer, despite the massive to-do list. Soon enough, we’ll be into the school year routine and I’ll be able to get down to work.

But not quite yet.